Are you and your partner sexually incompatible?

What is sexual incompatibility, and could my partner and I be incompatible? This is one of the most common questions I receive when I begin mentoring new clients. Sexual incompatibility usually refers to not feeling satisfied by your partner sexually or feeling like you cannot please your partner. This can look like one partner wanting sex more than the other, faking orgasms, sex leading to arguments, or just a total lack of sex in a relationship. This can lead to an overall dissatisfaction in your relationship and a lack of joy and pleasure in your life

Many factors can affect sexual desire and satisfaction. A recent study showed that over one-third of Americans are unsatisfied with their sex life. Of those that were polled, women were two times more likely to be dissatisfied than men. In fact, the study found that 1 in 6 people stated that their partners rarely or never satisfied them sexually. Can you relate? That is a lot of sexually unsatisfied people. Are they all incompatible? 

What if I told you sexual incompatibility is a myth? At the start of most relationships, people tend to be more satisfied, but as time goes on, it can be discouraging to find yourself in love with your partner but less than loving your sex life. So what changed? During the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you and your partner were likely more focused on pleasing each other. There was less emotional baggage, and the feelings of being let down by your sex life weren’t even a thought. You were both potentially more open, accepting, and less likely to hold resentment if your partner didn’t give you the orgasm they were hoping for. As time goes on and night after night, you are left high and dry (quite literally) in the sex department; the thought that you and your partner are just not sexually compatible may grow. Physical intimacy is important in a relationship because it goes hand in hand with emotional intimacy. It is unlikely that you would feel emotionally satisfied if your sex life is lacking. Not only does a thriving sex life keep you and your partner deeply connected it’s also good for your health! Sex burns calories, boosts your immune system, enhances your mood, and has cardivascular benefits; plus, it feels AMAZING!

We know sex is good for your health, important to maintain a good relationship, and your desire to feel pleasure, so what’s the problem? 

“The problem is you and your partner are speaking a different erotic language.”

The most common reason couples find themselves with a less than steamy sex life is that they cannot communicate their needs and desires. Oftentimes you may not even know exactly what you want or why you are so turned off at times. What you want may have changed since the beginning of your relationship, or maybe you never truly expressed what it was you desired. When this breakdown occurs, it can make sex seem like a chore instead of the pathway to pleasure. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy for both partners and ultimately makes connecting sexually feel even more out of reach.

What if there were a secret code to experiencing mindblowing erotic ecstasy?

The Erotic Blueprints™  are a language, your sex, or erotic language. They are a map to help you understand how you are wired for pleasure. The Erotic Blueprints™ are based on a person’s psychology and the somatic (body) responses a person has to various stimuli. For couples, it provides them with compassion and understanding about each other’s sexual needs and turn-ons. Read on for more about the 5 Erotic Blueprints™


The Energetic is turned on by anticipation, space, and tease. They can be very sensitive; too much too fast is a quick way to turn them off.


The Sensual is turned on by all of their senses being engaged, ambiance, and romance. They desire comfort and beauty but can often find themselves stuck in their head if the setting and the mood isn’t right.


The Sexual is turned on by straightforward sex, nudity, orgasms, penetration, and direct genital contact. They are always ready and willing. Sometimes this can lead to being laser-focused on achieving an orgasm and not the experience. 


The Kinky is turned on by power dynamics, pushing the edges and anything that feels taboo to them. They often feel shame and will suppress their desires. 

There are two types in the Kinky Blueprint™

Sensation   Are more turned on by the feeling of rough hemp rope on the skin, sting of a slap, being held down or spanked.

Psychological  Most of their turn-on happens in their mind, they love to control, or they may crave physical and mental surrender.

*BDSM is a culture and practice very different from the Kinky Blueprint. However, many Kinky Blueprint people like to play with BDSM.


The Shapeshifter is turned on by everything above. They are sexually sophisticated and desire variety. Sometimes the Shapeshifter will find themselves shifting to fit what their partner wants and not communicate their desires.

You and your partner aren’t incompatible; you are just speaking a different erotic language. Once you understand the nuances of your and your partner’s desires AND turn-offs, you are on your way to the best sex of your life. The secret to mind-blowing sex doesn’t need to be a secret. Are you ready to have hot sex that actually turns you on? Follow the steps below to turn your sex from boring and stale to MINDBLOWING. 

3 Steps to  Have Mindblowing Sex and Connection on a Deep and Intimate Level

Step #1

Take the Erotic Blueprint™ quiz and find out what your erotic language is. This is the first step in really understanding what you truly desire from your sexual partner. If you don’t know what you want or don’t want, then your partner doesn’t either. You can’t have mind-blowing sex if you aren’t clear about it.

Step #2

Have your partner take the quiz. Understanding the different things that turn your partner on or off will take the guesswork out of pleasing each other. It’s not enough to just know what you desire. To have mind-blowing sex, you also have to know what language your partner is speaking.

Step #3

Read each other’s results and be open to receiving and giving in this new way. The insight you will gain from reading what turns each of you on or off will have you looking at things from a totally new perspective. At the end of the day, the majority of people truly desire to please their partner. They just don’t know-how. Knowing your Erotic Blueprint™ takes the pressure of guessing and often guessing wrong out the equation. 

Years of speaking a different erotic language than your partner can make reconnecting sexually more difficult for some women. Discovering your unique desires and turn-offs is the first step, but oftentimes you may need more support. As a Professional Intimacy and Relationship Mentor,  I specialize in helping women and couples create the passion, connection, and intimacy they desire in life and love. Years of feeling dissatisfied with your sex life can leave your body feeling shut down to pleasure, and simply knowing what the problem is, isn’t enough to fix it. 

Now that  you know your Erotic Blueprint™ it’s time to unlock the pathway to pleasure

Taking the Erotic Blueprint ™ quiz is the secret to unlocking mind-blowing sex and reconnecting with your partner. By understanding your desires and your partner’s, you can begin to transform your sex life. It won’t be an overnight transformation but rather an excuse to spend a little more time in the bedroom rediscovering what turns you on.

It’s never too late to create a life of passion!

Schedule a Complimentary Passionate Possibilities Session

During this 60 minute call, we’ll dive in and discuss your vision, goals, and desires. We’ll talk about what’s holding you back from having what you want. Along the way, we’ll discover if we’re a good match to work together. If we are, at the end of the call, we’ll explore the options in working together and how I can help you have more passion, connection, and intimacy.  

This session is valued at $349 but is my complimentary gift to you if you’re ready to learn how to express your needs and desires, get them fulfilled, and learn the skills of communication and connection. 

This transformative experience will leave you inspired and open to new possibilities!
Rain Montana, Intimacy & Relationship Mentor,