Are you and your partner sexually incompatible?

What is sexual incompatibility, and could my partner and I be incompatible? This is one of the most common questions I receive when I begin coaching new clients. Sexual incompatibility usually refers to not feeling satisfied by your partner sexually or feeling like you aren’t able to please your partner. This can look like one partner wanting sex more than the other, faking orgasms, sex leading to arguments, or just a total lack of sex in a relationship, which can lead to an overall dissatisfaction in your relationship and a lack of joy and pleasure in your life. 

Many factors can affect sexual desire and satisfaction. A recent study showed that over one-third of Americans are unsatisfied with their sex life. Of those that were polled, women were two times more likely to be dissatisfied than men. The study found that 1 in 6 people stated that their partners rarely or never satisfied them sexually. Can you relate? That is a lot of sexually unsatisfied people. Are they all incompatible? 

What if I told you sexual incompatibility is a myth? At the start of most relationships, people tend to be more satisfied, but as time goes on, it can be discouraging to find yourself in love with your partner but less than loving your sex life. So, what changed? During the honeymoon phase of your relationship, you and your partner were likely more focused on pleasing each other. There was less emotional baggage, and the feelings of being let down by your sex life wasn’t even a thought yet. You were both potentially more open, accepting, and less likely to hold resentment if your partner didn’t give you the orgasm you were hoping for. As time goes on and night after night, you are left high and dry (quite literally) in the sex department. The thought that you and your partner are just not sexually compatible may grow. Physical intimacy is important in a relationship because it goes hand in hand with emotional intimacy. It is unlikely that you would feel emotionally satisfied if your sex life is lacking. Not only does a thriving sex life keep you and your partner deeply connected it’s also good for your health! Sex burns calories, boosts your immune system, enhances your mood, has cardiovascular benefits, and when you are getting the sex you want, it feels AMAZING! 

We know sex is good for your health, important to maintain a good relationship, and your desire to feel pleasure, so what’s the problem? 

“The problem is you and your partner are speaking a different erotic language.”

The most common reason couples find themselves with a less than steamy sex life is that they cannot communicate their needs and desires. Often you may not even know exactly what you want or why you are so turned off at times. What you wanted may have changed since the beginning of your relationship, or maybe you never truly expressed what it was you desired. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy for both partners and ultimately makes connecting sexually feel even more out of reach. When this breakdown occurs, it can make sex seem like a chore instead of the pathway to pleasure. 

What if there were a secret code to experiencing mind-blowing erotic ecstasy?

The Erotic Blueprints™ are a language, your sex, or erotic language. They are a map to help you understand how you are wired for pleasure. The Erotic Blueprints™ are based on a person’s psychology and the somatic (body) responses a person has to various forms of stimuli. For couples, it provides them with compassion and understanding about each other’s sexual needs and turn-ons.


Turned on by anticipation, space, and tease. Very sensitive, too much too fast is a quick way to turn them off. 


They are turned on by all of their senses being engaged, ambiance, and romance. Desire comfort beauty and can often find themselves stuck in their head if the mood isn’t right. 


They are turned on by straightforward sex, nudity, orgasms, penetration, and direct genital contact. Reads and willing any time their partner is. Sometimes this can lead to being laser-focused on achieving orgasm and not the experience. 


They are turned on by power dynamics, anything that feels taboo to them, pushing the edges. Often this blueprint feels shame and can suppress their desires. 

*BDSM is a culture and practice very different from the Kinky Blueprint. However, many Kinky Blueprint people like to play with BDSM.


They are turned on by everything above, sexually sophisticated, and desire variety. Sometimes the shapeshifter will find themselves shifting to what their partner wants and not communicate their desires. 

You and your partner aren’t incompatible; you are just speaking a different erotic language. Once you understand the nuances of your and your partner’s desires AND turn-offs, you are on your way to the best sex of your life. The secret to mind-blowing sex doesn’t need to be a secret. Are you ready to have hot sex that turns you on? Follow the steps below to turn your sex from boring and stale to MINDBLOWING. 

The 3 Steps to Start Having Mind-blowing Sex and Reconnecting with Your Partner on a Deep and Intimate Level.

Step #1

Take the Erotic Blueprint™ Quiz (Link to the quiz) and find out what your erotic language is. This is the first step in really understanding what you truly desire from your sexual partner. If you don’t know what you want or don’t want, then your partner doesn’t either. You can’t have mind-blowing sex if you aren’t clear what that entails. 

Step #2

Have your partner take the quiz (link to the quiz). Understanding the different things that turn your partner on or off will take the guesswork out of pleasing each other. It’s not enough to know what you desire. To have mind-blowing sex, you also have to know what language your partner is speaking.

Step #3

Read each other’s results and be open to receive. The insight you will gain from reading what turns each of you on or off will have you looking at things from a new perspective. The majority of people genuinely desire to please their partner. They just don’t know-how. Knowing each other’s Erotic Blueprint™ takes the pressure of guessing and often guessing wrong out the equation. 

Years of speaking a different erotic language than your partner can make reconnecting sexually more difficult for some women. Discovering your unique desires and turn-offs is the first step, but often you may need more support. As a Professional Sex and Relationship Coach, I specialize in helping women over 40 create the passion, connection, and intimacy they desire in life and in love. Years of feeling dissatisfied with your sex life can leave your body feeling shut down to pleasure, and simply knowing what the problem is, isn’t enough to fix it. 

“Once you know your Erotic Blueprint™, it’s time to retrain your body and break the cycles and habits you may have developed over the years. This is key to unlocking your pathway to pleasure.”

Sexual incompatibility is a myth. By understanding your desires as well as your partners, you can begin to transform your sex life. Taking the Erotic Blueprint ™ quiz is the secret to unlocking mind-blowing sex and reconnecting with your partner. Don’t expect the process to be an overnight transformation but rather an excuse to spend a little more time in the bedroom rediscovering what turns you on. 

Need more support?

Schedule a Complimentary Passionate Possibilities Session

During this 60-minute call, we’ll dive in and discuss your vision, goals, and desires. We’ll talk about what’s holding you back from having what you want. We can discover together if we’re a good match to work together. If we’re a good fit, at the end of this call, we’ll discuss the options in how we can work together and how I can help you have more passion, connection, and intimacy.  

This session is valued at $349 but is my complimentary gift to you if you’re ready to learn how to express your needs and desires, get them fulfilled, and learn the skills of communication and connection. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *